As it’s Mother’s Day this week, my post today is a tribute to my Mum, and just a handful of the things I love most about her.
She never fails to make me laugh
I have without a doubt inherited my foul mouth from my mother and I love it. She regularly comes out with something that cracks me up. My personal favourite was when she aggressively and a little too loudly asked “Where’s the fucking jam?!” in the middle of Tesco whilst holding a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
She got me Tilly…
… And many other weird and wonderful pets throughout my childhood. But even as a grown ass adult, when I adopted Tilly, my beautiful tabby cat, Mama J still paid the donation to the charity we got her from. Not to mention, she’s an excellent Nanny to Tilly too. Casing example: Tilly was poorly before me and my husband went on holiday last year, and we felt like horrible parents in the last few days before we went as not only had we taken her to the vets, but she’d been shaved and we had to force her to swallow a tablet 3 times a day. Enter Mama J who was baby (or rather kitty) sitting, who simply bossed the tablet giving by feeding her a bit of chicken with it. No dramz just a happy kit having a nosh on some chicken. To this day my cat genuinely loves a visit from her Nanny.
She’s got my back
From sorting out one of the many incidents of bullying at school to taking my side in an argument with basically anyone, Mama J is always on my side. So much so that at 22 years of age, I still had to get her to come and get sassy with my GP. I had been really ill for nearly 2 weeks, and had already had an appointment where I’d been told I had IBS. Now, I’m no doctor, but I don’t think having the shits for over a week with severe stabbing pains in your stomach, constant aching and a high temperature is IBS. But alas, that’s what he said it was. After yet another weekend being curled up in a ball in agony, my mother dragged me back to the doctors and did most of the talking for me. He reluctantly agreed to run a load of tests, where it came back that my mystery illness was not IBS. I had food poisoning. IN YOUR FACE, BITCH. Had she not have come with me my doctor probably would have been plastering my notes that I was a massive hypochondriac obsessed with poo. Flash forward to a few years later when I was struggling to get help for my rapidly worsening OCD, and she came with me to multiple doctors and therapists appointments to make sure I got the help I needed.
She’s a master of persuasion
I was a very needy and annoying child. I would refuse to go on sleepovers until I was at least 10. So it was no surprise it took some huge persuasion to get me to go on my Year 6 school trip. I had started at a new school so supposedly it would have been a good chance for me to make friends. So off I set on my school trip to the Brecon Beacons for a week of caving, rock climbing, abseiling and canoeing. Now, if you’ve pieced together enough from these posts over the last few weeks, you’ve probably realised that this was, and still is, my idea of hell. I cried at least once a day, I got stuck in a cave, covered in mud and I had to piss in a puddle. Where were my friends from my last school? Living it up in London and watching The Lion King. Whenever I asked to call my Mum during the free time, the phones conveniently were down. I call bullshit. I sent a postcard saying about how horrible a time I was having which didn’t actually reach her until 2 days after I got home because of “problems with the post.” Again, bullshit. Mama J knew this was literally my idea of hell, so to persuade me, she promised that my reward for enduring it was a freshly decorated bedroom. New bedsheets, fresh paint on the walls and a nice new layout made a week’s worth of mud, tears, piss and dirty river water all worthwhile.
We went clubbing for her 60th
One of my favourite nights out was for Mum’s 60th, where we went out with her friends, got hammered and went into the dodgiest (or rather, the only) nightclub in town. Who else can say they went clubbing for a 60th birthday?
She makes the best carrot cake
No one does carrot cake like Mama J does carrot cake. I get judged for carrot cake being one of my favourite cakes, but they just haven’t tried my mother’s. I feel her gin and tonic cheesecake also needs an honourable mention as it’s SO GOOD.
She’s obsessed with selfies
Most outings we have are not complete without “…shall we have a selfie?” No mother, we’re in KFC. But as a result, I have so many fabulous pictures with my Mama that I can look back on. My favourites being our night in Bournemouth where we went to see Steps, and our trip to DogFest with Daisy.
She always does the best presents
Whether it’s birthdays or Christmas, Mum has done some absolute belters over the years and she on many occasions has surprised the hell out of me. The best one had to be my 21st where I was given a box that containtained a ‘little extra something’ – it was the keys to Kylie the Ka, my very first car.
She wrote me letters
When I was a kid, Mum was really poorly. What started off as flu later turned out to be pneumonia, and she spent nearly 2 weeks in hospital. I was really young, so I didn’t really know what was going on, other than the fact she was in hospital. But, despite being ill AF, she wrote me letters. My stepdad would bring home a letter from her every night that told me the doctors were working hard to make her better and that she would be home soon. I don’t remember much detail, aside from the fact that school was crap and I really missed her . My grandparents and my stepdad took me to see her a few times which helped, but for the times where I had to stay at home or go to bed early, her letters (which I still have) made me feel so much better.
Of course there’s many reasons why my Mum is the absolute best, and this is just a handful of them. Love you loads Mama J!