Chocolate Cake & Candles
Life Lessons

29 Lessons

This post is becoming somewhat of a birthday tradition. I started this coming up to my 27th birthday, and I’ve updated the post each year after. It’s interesting looking back on last year’s post – as my naïve little self had been hoping lockdown would have been over by the time my birthday on the 4th May came around. Of course, it wasn’t, and of course, at the time we didn’t know that we had another two lockdowns to endure following the initial one. Despite feeling pretty sorry for myself in the run up to my birthday, I actually had a fabulous day and I am so grateful for the (socially distanced, of course) doorstep visits from my family and friends – and Liam made a party hat for Tilly.

Photo of Tilly wearing a party hat. She does not look amused.

Despite 2020 being a massive heap of crap, it was still the year we moved into our brand new house, which I didn’t think would even happen with Covid destroying everyone’s lives. Not only that, but Taylor Swift released two new albums AND our TV screens were blessed with Paul Mescal in Normal People (it’s my birthday, come on, I was going to mention him at least once). 

Anyway, for those of you who have no idea WTF is going on, every year I post a list of lessons I’ve learned over my 20-odd years of being alive – I started for my 27th birthday, and each year I update the post with another lesson I’ve learned. It’s kind of a way for me to cheat my way out of writing a brand new post, but this is always one I like to look back on. This post will go live on the 3rd May 2021 – the day before my 29th birthday. Guess I should crack on with the 30 Before 30

This is an update of 28 Lessons, which was posted in May 2020.

29 Lessons Pinterest Graphic

This is an update of 28 Lessons, which was posted in May 2020.

1. Don’t balance on the edge of your dad’s pond…you will fall in. And when you’re 6 years old it will be traumatic AF. 

2. Just because it’s your birthday party it doesn’t mean you get to win the prize at Pass the Parcel, no matter how much you cry. Also, when the guest of honour cries, it makes for a terrible party.

3. Keep your fingers out of the way when you’re putting more staples in a stapler.

4. Always keep your bag on you when you’re on a night out. 

5. Sulking, crying or having a full blown tantrum are NOT effective ways of getting what you want.

6. Actually ask for help when you’re struggling in maths.

7. Some of the cruellest people you’ll meet will be the girls on your netball/rounders/basketball/any other sports team during P.E. Don’t worry about being a tattle tale – those bitches need taking down a peg or two.

8. Just because the other kids make fun of you, you shouldn’t quit learning to ride a bike.

9. During crappy times will be when you realise who your real friends are.

10. Worrying about all of the possible outcomes to something will stop you from enjoying the journey.

11. Your GCSE choices do matter. Choose your subjects wisely.

12. Just because your teachers tell you to go to university, it doesn’t mean it’s the best option for you. 

13. Don’t give up on your dream career because you feel you’re “not clever enough.”

14. Don’t let a fear of losing your friends keep you in a crappy job. If the friendships are strong enough you’ve nothing to worry about.

15. If your contact lenses are uncomfortable, take them out.

16. Don’t drink 2 bottles of cheap wine during your first month of taking SSRIs. 

Photo of me and Liam drinking wine in a tapas bar. We are incredibly drunk.
It all started so well…

17. On the same note, don’t drink yourself into a stupor on the first night of a holiday. Especially when the holiday is only 4 days long.

18. Contrasting prints are NOT a good look.

Photo of me aged 8, wearing a tie-dye top and purple floral skirt.
Yes, this is an actual outfit I actually wore in public.

19. When you don’t have kids, booking 2 weeks off work during the summer holidays is a ridiculously idiotic decision.

20. You’re never too old to watch a Disney movie. If anything, you appreciate them more as an adult.

21. The best ideas for making something amazing can still turn out to be fucking horrific – take the birthday cake 15 year old me made for my Mum’s 50th birthday.

Photo of the cake I made for my Mum's 50th. It's supposed to be a white cake with red and yellow hearts and a marzipan figure of a black and white cat on top. Trust me when I say it does not look like that. It's a complete fucking mess.
15 Year old me made this cake. How the fuck I got an A in GCSE food is beyond me.

22. You don’t need to spend all of your pocket money on a Jane Norman bag.

23. Enjoy all those years where you don’t have periods. You’ll soon regret all those nights you spent crying because all of your friends have got their first.

24. Whenever you’re on a night out, stop drinking after midnight.

25. Love is finding someone who still wants to kiss you after you’ve thrown up…at least during the first few months of a relationship.

26. Talking about poo is the mark of any quality friendship.

27. Your real friends will be the people who see you at your absolute worst and still love you.

28. Never underestimate the power of seeing your loved ones. A coffee with your Mum, nipping into see your grandparents, driving over to see your Dad, a glass of wine with your best friend…never underestimate a single second of it.

29. No matter what you think, you CAN survive a global pandemic. Even with contamination OCD.

Featured image by Lorene Farrugia on Unsplash.

6 thoughts on “29 Lessons”

  1. LOL I love how specific these life lessons are and not the generic ones that everyone else seems to do!

    I find #2, the passing the parcel one, especially relatable. At my party, it was a scavenger hunt. I wanted to win the damn marbles. I was mad that I didn’t get the marbles and ended up with a rubber ball instead. I even helped pick out the prizes with my mom and was certain that she would just give me the marbles.

    P.S. Happy Birthday! 🥳 Enjoy your parcels today. This time, you don’t have to share them with anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I wanted to put my own spin on things!
      Omg that sounds all too familiar 😂 I remember choosing the prize in the shop with my Mum in the hope I’d get it because it was my birthday – didn’t realise how pass the parcel works clearly!

      And thank you so much 🙂 x


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